I show affection for my pets by holding them against me and whispering I love you repeatedly as they struggle to escape from my arms
A Series of Unfortunate Events
Tumblr is doing that weird thing again where it unfollows blogs without my permission. So if I have unfollowed and (hopefully) refollowed you recently…rest assured it’s not because I got drunk and annoyed at something you said and unfriended you. I reserve that move for Facebook only.
Also, I’m having an avatar identity crisis. Apologies if the constant changes throw you off.
Thank you for time. Carry on you beautiful creatures.
"There are no grown-ups. We suspect this when we are younger, but can confirm it only once we are the ones writing books and attending parent-teacher conferences. Everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently.
There are no soul mates. Not in the traditional sense, at least. In my 20s someone told me that each person has not one but 30 soul mates walking the earth. (“Yes,” said a colleague, when I informed him of this, “and I’m trying to sleep with all of them.”) In fact, “soul mate” isn’t a pre-existing condition. It’s an earned title. They’re made over time.
You will miss out on some near soul mates. This goes for friendships, too. There will be unforgettable people with whom you have shared an excellent evening or a few days. Now they live in Hong Kong, and you will never see them again. That’s just how life is.
Emotional scenes are tiring and pointless. At a wedding many years ago, an older British gentleman who found me sulking in a corner helpfully explained that I was having a G.E.S. — a Ghastly Emotional Scene. In your 40s, these no longer seem necessary. For starters, you’re not invited to weddings anymore. And you and your partner know your ritual arguments so well, you can have them in a tenth of the time.
Forgive your exes, even the awful ones. They were just winging it, too.
When you meet someone extremely charming, be cautious instead of dazzled. By your 40s, you’ve gotten better at spotting narcissists before they ruin your life. You know that “nice” isn’t a sufficient quality for friendship, but it’s a necessary one.
People’s youthful quirks can harden into adult pathologies. What’s adorable at 20 can be worrisome at 30 and dangerous at 40. Also, at 40, you see the outlines of what your peers will look like when they’re 70. …
It’s O.K. if you don’t like jazz.
When you’re wondering whether she’s his daughter or his girlfriend, she’s his girlfriend.”
I was tagged by my Tumblr friend maneatingbadger!
Rules: In a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. Don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard - they don’t have to be “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. Tag ten friends, including me, so I’ll see your list. Make sure you let your friends know that you’ve tagged them.
B&P NOTE: I made the list quickly as per instructed, then I went back and added reasons because it’s near impossible for me to write anything short.
- Watership Down – Richard Adams (Still and likely always will be my favorite book. Never have I come across such a hauntingly perfect metaphor for the human condition. A friend and I did a book exchange one summer, and this was my suggestion. He couldn’t get into it because he just couldn’t get over the fact that all the characters were bunnies. His loss.)
- The Celery Stalks at Midnight – James Howe (Any of the Bunnicula series really, but this was the first one I read – I was a little vague on the importance of serial novels in elementary school. These books are hands down wonderful. If you’ve got a kid at chapter-book age, I suggest investing in the whole series.)
- Breakfast of Champions – Kurt Vonnegut (Kilgore Trout is humanity’s spirit animal. Also, *.)
- Lord of the Flies – William Golding (I decided to read this book for fun when I was eleven. I was a weird kid. It turned out for the best though. Coupled with also reading Misery that year, it caused me to virtually skip the YA fiction phase, which given the 80’s options, was a really good idea.)
- The Sun Also Rises – Ernest Hemingway (If Hemingway teaches us anything, it’s how to self-edit and the lesson that sometimes less words is more. I however am not so good at this as will be evidenced as you continue to read of this post.)
- The Long Walk – Richard Bachman / pseudonym for Stephen King (I am a HUGE King fan. Yes, I said it. Granted his later work leaves much to be desired, but his early stuff…whoa buddy. Everything I learned about character development, I learned from reading King. This novella, which I urge you to read if you haven’t yet, exemplifies those talents better than anything else. Not to mention it’s yet another example of how The Hunger Games is nothing more than a dressed up reworking of earlier lesser known stories and an author piggybacking on the good ideas of others. But I’m not bitter or anything.)
- Hamlet, Othello, Macbeth – William Shakespeare (Not technically books, so I decided it would be ok to include three of them. Plus, I read them first before seeing any performances. I mean, come on, no one appreciates rule breaking like the Bard. Did you guys know that he was the first to use the prefix “un” in print? You can thank him anytime you feel uncomfortable when you undress if your tendency to undervalue your body is unrivaled. Or not, because that scenario sounds unhappy.)
- Naked – David Sedaris (Sedaris is a genre definer. Naked takes the memoir and humor writing and combines them into something amazingly touching, stomach churning, and laugh-til-you-cry funny all at the same time.)
- The Professor and the Madman – Simon Winchester (I would never have thought that a book about writing the Oxford English Dictionary would be so god damned entertaining. It’s a truly fascinating read for any word nerd.)
- Helter Skelter – Vincent Bugliosi and Curt Gentry (I used to work as a dorm security guard at a medical university. Albeit the term “security guard” was applied loosely - we sat at a desk, checked IDs, and kept a lax leash on students who were not so known for wild antics. Since girls were prohibited from doing the “walk arounds,” we were chained to said desk for eight hour stretches. That gave us a lot of time to read, and all the guards shared books. While this one might not have been the best choice to read alone, on the empty first floor of a half dark dorm during a midnight to 8am shift, it had elements of every (some would say tawdry) pleasure in which I indulge – court room dramas, police procedurals, The Beatles. Yet, even though the first thing you do when you pick it up is flip to the middle section and gawk at the crime scene photos and mugshots, there’s a moment when you’ve sort of forgotten about the pictures, and you turn to those pages organically, having read that far into the book. Then it hits you harder than you thought - this is a real crime, and real people died, and real people did this, and real people thought it was an ok thing to do. It’s more than just the superior writing that raises this book above the levels of just another throwaway drug store True Crime novel. A better wordsmith than I could describe all the feelings it invokes, how it both engrosses you and shames your morbid curiosity – yet not entirely. I still eagerly gobble up crime stories. In fact right now I’m happily awaiting the season twenty marathon of Law and Order that my DVR is set up to record. But after reading Helter Skelter, I watch these things with a different eye. I read these kinds of stories with a different mind. Like this post assignment said, it was a book that stayed with me.)
- I Am Legend - Richard Matheson (I edited the original post to include this because I CANNOT believe I forgot it. The quintessential “book is better than the movie,” don’t waste your time with that stupid Will Smith adaptation. And I like Will Smith.)
As for friends…I’ll just tag a few of you and see what happens (honestly I think most of you who would actually do this already have). If I left you out, feel free to reblog or make your own post, considering yourself “tagged.” If you’ve already done it, just ignore me. Cheers!!
- Portrait of Osip Brik (variant of a cover for LEF Magazine) - 1924
- Social Kunst 8 (photomontage) - 1932